It’s September once again and where I’m from, it’s Christmas. Well, not quite. But that’s another story. Read it here if you haven’t yet.

September, what does it mean for Australians (Australian cyclists in general)? It’s the dreaded magpie season. In Spring, magpies lay eggs or probably hatch by this time, so they get territorial and aggressive to protect their young ones – sweet parenting gesture. However, if you’re an unsuspecting biker who dare step into their turf, then you’re in for a smack. They’re like the bird version of the Diaz brothers to me – Stockton slap, mofos!

The Furious Mom

I’ve been biking for over 2 years now and watching all the hilarious magpie attack videos make me kind of want to see it for myself – got what I wished for. Yesterday, I was biking with my 5-year-old. I knew it was magpie territory but that’s our usual bike trail. And like I said, in two or three Springs of biking in that area, we haven’t been attacked so I wasn’t expecting any – guard down.

As usual, my daughter loves to talk when biking (all the time actually). So we’d talk while we ride. Then on the ground, I saw this shadow. It’s a bird! and it’s coming for my head, fast! I shouted, “magpie!” Micaela stepped on the gas, 0-60 in 2 seconds. It was funny. I heard my helmet clunk. I was like, that was it? That was cute. Then the shadow came back again for another hit like some dive bomber. This time I’m flinching but also laughing at Micaela looking like she’s trying to bag Tour de France while we’re getting chased by this furious bird.

I’m Just Here for the Photos

The following day (earlier today), I was in for my morning walk. I like to go by the same route we take for biking so I am well aware that I could be in for another smack. Then I saw a maggie, looking at me. Not sure if it was our angry mom/dad but it did nothing this time. So I carried on. On my way back I saw a maggie chick on the ground. So I thought this must be the reason why I got swooped yesterday, her chick is really vulnerable on the ground. I don’t really know if I should do something like put it back on a tree, so instead, I chose to leave it alone. But first, let me take some photos/videos (bloody millennials).

Then I wondered – where’s mom/dad? I was not disappointed.

Magpie: Hey mate. Scram!

Conclusion

Magpies are notorious for swooping but let me get it straight, they’re no monsters. I’m not sure if they can potentially hurt but from my experience, it’s no more than a tap to the helmet. Though they tend to go for the back of your head, I think it would be wise to have some goggles or sunnies on like we did. It was a funny experience, though it’s not for everyone. I know a few people who would have panic attacks with the thought of it.

Let me just end this blog with a bit more serious note. Let’s keep in mind that we are the trespassers. We should just be thankful this is Australia – they’re not allowed to have guns even if they wanted to. Still, I believe the best thing to do is to avoid them when you can. Even if they cannot possibly hurt us, I think they get a little stressed watching intruders in Lycra (not that I wear one). If you have no choice, you can put some cable ties on your helmet to mimic spikes. That’s what cyclists do to deter the angry maggies.

Well, that’s the beauty of going outdoors, we get to experience these wild lovely creatures. And that’s what they say about Australia – everything tries to kill you. It’s an overstatement but I can tell you I’m not ready to go head-to-head with a red kangaroo yet. Those guys are jacked AF!

Take care, everyone. Keep riding!